I can sell shit like a boss!

So gurrl I gotta tell you somethin. I can sell shit. I can sell multiple kinds of shit. If given good shit to sell I can make people expand their budgets to buy them. I sold a vibrator today that increases in intensity the more pressure you apply to it. The woman had a budget that was half of what the vibrator cost but I managed to talk her up to buying it. I managed to sell about $500 of stuff in a half hour. It was freaking awesome. So awesome in fact that I rewarded myself with my first real poutine. For those of you who don't know what poutine is, it is an invention from Quebec which is fries and cheese curds covered in gravy. Heavenly? Yes. Fattening? O god yes. But it was like a foil tin of joy and happiness. I felt like a mermaid had risen from the sea and punched me in the mouth with the flavor of an Angel's thigh meat. So my literary skills are not perfect today, but any who I'm now off to go watch doctor horrible's sing along. Good Evening.